Two clients. Same sector, same size, same problem. You send both the same proposal for the same amount.
One signs within a week. The other is still "working on it" three months later.
What is the difference?
No one blames the wood
Step out of your work for a moment. It's Saturday, you're at the fire pit, and the wood won't catch. First match, nothing. Second, nothing.
What do you say? Not: this wood just doesn't want to. Not: this wood isn't motivated. And certainly not: perhaps we should first build support among the wood.
You crouch down and you look. Is it wet? Is it packed too tightly? Can air get in? Is there enough heat?
You are not looking for more fire. You are looking for the missing condition. Everyone does this, without training.
With that second client you never did it. You called again.
The three conditions
What fuel, oxygen and heat do for fire, stake, trust and urgency do for a decision.
Three conditions make it possible. Only an event makes it real. In wood we call that a spark; in people, a moment of decision.
Stake is the fuel
What is at risk for him. And note the difference most salespeople miss: stake is not a need. A need is something someone wants to have. A stake is something he loses if nothing happens. Look for needs and you end up with products. Look for stake and you end up with a decision.
Trust is the oxygen
Not "is this a nice person", but: can I predict what happens if I say yes? And above all: what happens if it goes wrong? That is where the real doubt sits, and your proposal never mentions it.
Urgency is the heat
Why this month and not in March. Remember that waiting is usually simply sensible for him.
If one is missing, nothing happens. Not less. Nothing.
And even then it doesn't happen
Suppose everything is there. The wood is bone dry, air can get in, the heat is there. Three conditions, all present. And nothing happens.
Because those three conditions make fire possible. They don't make it inevitable.
The conditions are a state. The spark is an event.
In people that event is the moment of decision. An email with one question in it. A date that gets agreed. A signature that can be given without anything left in between.
And the warning from chapter 7: a spark cannot be forced. You can make it possible and recognise it when it is there. A spark you light instead of the other person goes out the moment you look away. That is the deal that gets cancelled in week two.
How to hear what is missing
- No one asks questions? The stake isn't visible yet.
- Many questions, no movement? Trust is missing. More information makes it worse.
- "We really should do that"? No urgency.
- Everyone agrees and nothing happens? The first step is too big, or it isn't there.
The exercise
Put three stalled conversations side by side. Not one, three — the pattern only shows when you compare.
Walk the four signals above for each and note which of the three is missing.
They won't get the same diagnosis. So they don't need the same follow-up either, and that is exactly what no list can tell you.
The closing question
If this is the model, what is left of the method you were trained in?
That is session 4: what this means for spin, challenger and meddic.